The principles of love

12 STEP CATHOLIC SPIRITUALITY SERIES

I started this series in September 2018 and will continue with the series this year.  If you have not read the first posts, click here to read.  This series is based on the 12 Steps of AA and could have easily been called 12 Step Christian Anon programme.  However, I prefer to think of it as a 12 Step guide to Catholic spirituality

Today we continue on with Step 3: We decide to turn our lives over to Jesus Christ

 STEP 3 We decide to turn our lives over to Jesus Christ.

Living a life of love.

Because the meaning of love has so many varied meanings and has been sullied by society’s meanings as well, the word now is no longer clear to many people.

Let us discuss further the meaning of love.

In C.S Lewis book, the 4 loves he outlines the meaning of love as:

1.Storge: love that a parent has for child or child for parent, and also a fondness as a result of familiarity for certain people, pets or material goods.

2.Philia: friendship particularly that which binds people together under a common umbrella of interest.

3. Eros: Romantic love which entwines sexual fulfillment with the procreation of the species.

4.Agape: love which comes to us by no merit of our own and with no ulterior motives.

It is a pure love.

The first three loves are important as they have the function of providing our security needs (storge), esteem (philia) and pleasure (eros).  However, what is required to avoid selfishness is Agape since it enables us to experience all our human loves more deeply whilst keeping a healthy perspective. Agape provides a spiritual perspective and because it has no ulterior motive is pure from contamination of self and selfish motives. In other words, Agape will help us live the Christian life principles at a higher and deeper level. The other loves will be wrapped in this kind of love and will therefore be experienced more deeply too.

Becoming a new person does not mean abandoning our human life or denying who we are.

Becoming a Christian and deepening our lives as Christians means to incorporate the Christian principles into our lives.  It means we no longer ask what is going to bring us pleasure, esteem or safety but rather what is the loving thing to do in the situation we find ourselves. In doing this, we will find that security, pleasure and esteem will be transformed- present yes, but at a deeper, more mature and integrated manner.

As Jesus of Nazareth is the incarnation of love itself, we are to ask ourselves if we are to be His disciples ‘’ what would Jesus do’’? If we are to answer authentically, then we need to get to know Jesus of Nazareth so that we can carry out to the best of our abilities the answer to the question ‘’what would Jesus do’’.  In other words, we cannot truly answer the question if we do not have a relationship with Him. When we are in relationship with Him, we can easily turn to Jesus and ask ‘’ I have a problem with this situation/this person. I don’t know what to do. What would you do and what is the most loving thing to do in this circumstance? We apply the Christian principle of love.

In order to get to know Jesus, we need prayer (conversation with Him), Scripture Church Teaching and a Christian community to support us as we formally understand who Jesus is and how we can integrate His principles of love in our lives. We need to have a solid foundation with Jesus as the cornerstone on which to turn our lives around and move towards a total commitment to living a life of love where Christian faith filled principles are learned and understood and then applied through practical application in our lives. Then we can ask the question again in our daily life ‘’ what would Jesus do’’ and know that our answer has an integrity. This is really important because sometimes sadly people maintain they have asked the question but use religion and Jesus as an excuse to do whatever they want. This is not living the Christian life fully.

It actually gives Christians/Catholics bad press.

Applying the principles of love in our lives out of love for Jesus takes a close relationship with Him. We are all capable of having a closer relationship with Jesus where ever we are on our faith journey. We need to put in the work and effort and Jesus will more than meet us half way. He will ready with open arms to greet us.