12 Step Catholic Spirituality- Step 1: To admit we cannot live our fullest potential by a life of selfishness. ( Part 1).

12 Step Catholic Spirituality- 

Step 1: To admit we cannot live our fullest potential by a life of selfishness. ( Part 1).

Welcome to my 12 Step Catholic Spirituality Series.  This series is based on the 12 Steps of AA and could have easily been called 12 Step Christian Anon programme.  However, I prefer to think of it as a 12 Step guide to Catholic spirituality. I have used the word ''selfishness'' to cover a range of sins/ addictions/ behaviour patterns. You may wish to choose your own word suitable to your own situation since we are all individuals with different issues.

Let's explore step 1 over 3-4 weeks.

Let us begin with Step 1: We admit that we cannot live our fullest human potential by living a life of ''selfishness''. 

Why do we not experience our fullest potential?
There may be a huge number of answers to this question. However in essence Christian theology and human experience shows us that the key reason why we do not experience joy is that selfishness perverts our noblest striving and  motivations. Sin therefore separates us from God and from one another. Its effect is that it does just that.

Contrasting this is a healthy self love which enables us to strike a balance between overestimating and underestimating our talents. Self love requires a truthful acceptance of ourselves in all our strengths and limitations.  Selfishness deprives us of self-love in its fullness because it blinds us to truth and acceptance by keeping us in an state of unhealthy desiring.

Through our first parents Adam and Eve, sin came into the world when they chose to say no to God and used their free will for a rebellious act. We too can in our selfishness say no to God  in many ways. Perhaps we can relate to St Paul when he says:
''I do not do what I want to do but what i hate''(7:15).  However, we too can feel encouraged as St Paul and all the saints were human like us but strove to name and eradicate their selfishness in their lives. It is a life time process.  

God created a ''hierarchy'' in which humans were higher than the animals which were lower. This is because human nature has free will whereas the animals operate under instinct.  When we allow ourselves to  live according to the dictates of our lower selfish nature, we actually become lower than the animals since we have lost our dignity.
Our true self longs for beauty, truth, love, justice and wisdom and we possess a capacity for consciously realising these values in our lives. These spiritual qualities need to be experienced and if we are not experiencing them to any degree of intensity, it may mean that our selfish side of us has the upper hand and the balance is out of perspective to what God planned for us.  You may wish to review what St Paul writes in Galatians 5:19-21) which describes some of the ways in which selfishness manifests itself.

We may identify with some of these selfish qualities but we may also ask why do I fall for these traps. The answer is that selfishness has some alluring payoffs such as pleasure, esteem and security. The problem is that the payoffs often have a short-lived life within themselves, but we allow our feelings to want more and then we create an ongoing cycle of sustenance. The other problem is that these payoffs also diminish considerably our capacity to hold the spiritual qualities alive. They wane in our lives as we pursue a life of selfishness. God in His goodness allows them to remain in us (however faint) so that we can turn back to Him when we acknowledge these areas of selfishness. It stunts our spiritual growth when we live a self-indulgent life, engage in selfish behaviour and giving in to the payoffs over the spiritual qualities.

The laws of society are there to help us as individuals not clash with society and provide a harmony among people. Staying out of trouble is a necessary first step, but on the spiritual level for disciples of Jesus, as Catholics, it is no where near enough.

ACTION FOR THE WEEK:

During this week you may wish to start to identify your selfishness.  Be gentle with yourself particularly if having a stock take of your self is something you have done in a while. It can be confronting and perhaps even depressing for some people.  So, give yourself time, be kind and gentle to yourself as God is to you and ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten you.  This is just a start of the programme, so don’t worry if you do not have a thorough spring clean of our selfishness the first time around. Being aware of our selfishness and the ways it manifests itself is the most important step forward.  You may wish to write these thoughts in your journal.  Since a journal is a very private object, remember to keep it in a safe place so that your privacy is respected and that you will be able to write freely- only you and God can see it.

REFLECTION QUESTIONS:

1. What does the word admit mean to you? What do you feel?

2. In your life generally, do you think of admitting something as a sign of weakness? ( in yourself/in others).

3. When you read the first step- what reaction do you have? write your reactions both positive and negative or even no reaction in your journal.  This is useful information.

4. What does living your fullest human potential mean to me? What would it look like- describe it.

5. How have you been living a life of selfishness ( Name it/them). Areas to consider: Physical, Emotional, Cognitive, Social, Spiritual. Remember to be gentle with yourself as you consider these areas or other areas you wish to nominate. Why- Jesus loves you.  

FINISHING YOUR SESSION.

Remember after you have written in your journal and you are ready to move forward with your day/night, to say a prayer of thanks to God ( eg Glory be, Our Father) and ask Him to hold any emotional impact until you meet with Him again. This way, God is holding you and your discoveries shall not be negatively impacted upon you.  Some people find that when they do interior work, they feel more tired or can be grumpier with others.  This is why it is important to ask God to hold the impact for you. In this way you will be able to continue the work without it negatively impacting on you or others. It then is a positive process between you and God. 

Next week:  We will reflect upon the Rich young man Gospel parable (Mk10-17-22). We will also explore more about our human longings.